You (the June 2010 issue) have not yet arrived in my mailbox and it is May 4th. Don't you know that it is Finals Week and I need a distraction? Maybe you heard that I already have distractions (blogs, the pool, shopping, and snort laughing really loudly in the campus computer labs with roommate J), but I would gladly welcome a distraction from you. Maybe you haven't arrived because you heard I slept with the May 2010 issue (it's true, I woke up one morning with the issue opened to pg.78 lying on my face last month). Either way, keep in mind I could have bought you in stores on May 1st, so there is no excuse for me to not have you in my mailbox by now. Please arrive today so that you can accompany me to what I like to call "after-school special": a large Diet Coke from the gas station + the pool.
Sincerely,
A Pissy Reader (who still dearly loves you, almost no matter what)
I might have snort laughed at you insinuating you slept with the May issue. Oh hilarious.
ReplyDeleteElizabeth, I adore snort laughing and spit-laughs. And thankfully I did get my Glamour and was able to take it to the pool!
ReplyDeleteThis is hilarious! Although on a serious note, nothing makes me crazier than seeing a new issue out on newsstands before I get mine in the mail. Immediate seething rage. Hope it comes soon!
ReplyDeletehip hip gin gin- Agreed. Aside from getting upset about late subscription deliveries, I am also notorious for being stingy with my magazines. (As in: get your paws off those glossy pages because I have not devoured the entire magazine so you don't get to, either.) Thankfully I met another girl that was magazine-stingy too, so we get along really well. Just another anal quirk about me - ha!
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